Saturday, June 6, 2009
We prayed about it
and we couldn't get her out of our heads. So we committed to bringing her home. The left leg that was twisted just a little, was kind of an understatement, which is an entirely another post.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Chapter 3 - Her foot is twisted just a little
Now that we had committed to Sheila, we asked for additional pictures of girls about the same age, give or take a couple of years. We looked at Fatmia, Faith, Patience, Princess, and on and on. When we did ask for additional information on any one of them we were told that they were just spoken for, every time.
And every time we were given this picture of a "TWO YEAR OLD" with the comment that she needed a family and her left foot was twisted just a little.
At the time I was nearly 50 years old. NO WAY was I doing a TWO YEAR OLD, so politely we declined and asked for other photos.
We were given Sarah, Blessing, Cynthia, Sumo Girl, and every time we inquired for additional information we were told they were not available, or there was a problem with the paperwork, or something, and then asked again about this two year old. They called her Minnie.
NO WAY was I going to say yes to a two year old. Did I mention I was nearly 50 years old? I knew I didn't have the energy for a two year old. So, politely we asked about other children. And every email seemed to include this picture of this little girl who really needed a family, her story was so sad. And she did have a physical problem, but you can see in the picture, they said, her foot is twisted just a little.
But, you see, at the time I was nearly 50 and I knew I didn't have the energy for a two year old. But, this time, I agreed to talk to my dear sweet eternal companion about it, who of course said, "that would be a lot of work, we can't do it". PHEW! But, just to be on the safe side, we agreed to pray about it......
Monday, May 25, 2009
Chapter 2 - The Lord's Hand in choosing who was to come..
Once we had made a decision to adopt from Liberia, we began learning how to do an international adoption. Did I mention we did not do this in the correct order?
After joining a Yahoo group about international adoption I asked the question, "Has anyone on this group adopted from Liberia?" Amazingly, not many. Ethiopia, China, Ukraine, and Haiti, lots from Haiti a couple from Guatamala. Only one woman answered me with "we are in the process now". And she told me what group she was working with. Every step we took was careful and prayerful. We waited for confirmation at each step. Anytime we disagreed, we waited on the Lord to move on our thoughts. Back to the group that we were referred to...
This was not an adoption agency, it was a Christian Ministry who facilitated adoptions. You did all the work yourself, and they "talked" you through it. I was to learn the difference between adoption agencies and Christian ministries over the next few years. But, that is another chapter entirely.
We contacted this group immediately and were welcomed into the process. They were honest good people who went out of their way to help us. They did nothing to mislead us. It was overall a very good experience, but, we still felt blind in the process. The facilitator (who I will call Pam) asked us if we had given any thought to what type of child we wanted to adopt. WHOA! Having raised 4 biological children who had now left and begun families on their own, if there was one thing that we were certain of, it was that we did not want to adopt A child. We aren't fun people after all, and while we are experienced loving parents with a desire to make a difference for people in the world, we knew we wanted to adopt at least two children. Now, I use the term "we" rather loosely at this point, because, my husband was settled that two would be a good thing, and I wasn't sure at all that it had to only be two children.
In the course of dealing with this ministry we also checked out a couple of adoption agencies, and because this ministry was willing to take us through the process without waiting for our home study to be completed, we went with the Christian Ministry.
We were told that they had some pictures they could show us, but that the first step for everyone was a home study. We had no idea what a home study was, or how to get one done. Everyone we asked told us to go to the adoption agencies where we lived. We were unable to find one that would do a home study for us if we were not using them for the entire adoption process. So, we called the Christian ministry back and explained the problem. Amazingly Pam told us that she had just gotten off the phone with someone in the same state that we lived in, her name was Judy and she did home studies.
Judy was very helpful but was located nearly 300 miles away, she did however have a business colleague nearer to our area. A call was made to the business colleague and our first meeting arranged. Now I know that we could have gotten other "quotes" so to speak on our home study from other folks and that we had more choices than I thought we had at the time. Our choice for a home study provider was not the least expensive, however, we were very pleased with the provider and they did an excellent job for us. They were a bit slow with the process, and it took several months. Meanwhile Pam was asking again if we know about what age or gender preference we had, and the answer was, "girls ages 8-12".
Ever since I first contacted this ministry I had been put on a mailing list that they used to give information on waiting children. One "9" year old girl kept appearing. She looked "forlorn" for lack of a better word, but there was no connection for me when I looked at her picture.
Other pictures of girls in the same age group came up, and everytime we inquired we were told that the child had been spoken for, and the picture of the forlorn girl came back up, and we were invited to consider her. They told us her name was "Sheila". Sheila was suppose to be 9 years old, nearly 10.
I travel for business occasionally and during one particularly bad weather trip I found myself spending 1/2 the night in the Las Vegas airport, and the other 1/2 of the night in Atlanta. I had a blackberry, and I was checking my personal email. Again the picture of the girl we thought was named "Sheila" was there in the newletter update. I prayed all the way from Las Vegas to Atlanta, and once landed in Atlanta I sent an email to the faciliator. The information on Sheila said that she had a living mother, who was unable to care for her and that she had been relinqished to the children's home. In my email, I asked Pam if Sheila wanted to be adopted, since she had a living mother. I had heard nightmares about attachment disorder and this seemed like a good question to ask. I immediately got a reply email (even though it was 5:00 am) which said, "let me call Liberia and see what I can find out for you".
Wow! So I emailed back, "okay". Ten minutes later my cell phone rang. It was Pam. She explained that she had called the Children's Home Director and explained that she had someone interested in Sheila. The Director told her that "Sheila" was standing right there in the office with her. Pam told her we were concerned if Sheila wanted to be adopted. Pam said when the Director asked Sheila that question directly that she could hear Sheila say "Yes, I want an American Ma and Pa".
That whole experience and the timing of the emails and phone calls was evidence to me of the Lord's hand in the process. It was the first of many times when the Lord's hand was evident in the process, but, Sheila was our first commitment.... and things were just beginning.
After joining a Yahoo group about international adoption I asked the question, "Has anyone on this group adopted from Liberia?" Amazingly, not many. Ethiopia, China, Ukraine, and Haiti, lots from Haiti a couple from Guatamala. Only one woman answered me with "we are in the process now". And she told me what group she was working with. Every step we took was careful and prayerful. We waited for confirmation at each step. Anytime we disagreed, we waited on the Lord to move on our thoughts. Back to the group that we were referred to...
This was not an adoption agency, it was a Christian Ministry who facilitated adoptions. You did all the work yourself, and they "talked" you through it. I was to learn the difference between adoption agencies and Christian ministries over the next few years. But, that is another chapter entirely.
We contacted this group immediately and were welcomed into the process. They were honest good people who went out of their way to help us. They did nothing to mislead us. It was overall a very good experience, but, we still felt blind in the process. The facilitator (who I will call Pam) asked us if we had given any thought to what type of child we wanted to adopt. WHOA! Having raised 4 biological children who had now left and begun families on their own, if there was one thing that we were certain of, it was that we did not want to adopt A child. We aren't fun people after all, and while we are experienced loving parents with a desire to make a difference for people in the world, we knew we wanted to adopt at least two children. Now, I use the term "we" rather loosely at this point, because, my husband was settled that two would be a good thing, and I wasn't sure at all that it had to only be two children.
In the course of dealing with this ministry we also checked out a couple of adoption agencies, and because this ministry was willing to take us through the process without waiting for our home study to be completed, we went with the Christian Ministry.
We were told that they had some pictures they could show us, but that the first step for everyone was a home study. We had no idea what a home study was, or how to get one done. Everyone we asked told us to go to the adoption agencies where we lived. We were unable to find one that would do a home study for us if we were not using them for the entire adoption process. So, we called the Christian ministry back and explained the problem. Amazingly Pam told us that she had just gotten off the phone with someone in the same state that we lived in, her name was Judy and she did home studies.
Judy was very helpful but was located nearly 300 miles away, she did however have a business colleague nearer to our area. A call was made to the business colleague and our first meeting arranged. Now I know that we could have gotten other "quotes" so to speak on our home study from other folks and that we had more choices than I thought we had at the time. Our choice for a home study provider was not the least expensive, however, we were very pleased with the provider and they did an excellent job for us. They were a bit slow with the process, and it took several months. Meanwhile Pam was asking again if we know about what age or gender preference we had, and the answer was, "girls ages 8-12".
Ever since I first contacted this ministry I had been put on a mailing list that they used to give information on waiting children. One "9" year old girl kept appearing. She looked "forlorn" for lack of a better word, but there was no connection for me when I looked at her picture.
Other pictures of girls in the same age group came up, and everytime we inquired we were told that the child had been spoken for, and the picture of the forlorn girl came back up, and we were invited to consider her. They told us her name was "Sheila". Sheila was suppose to be 9 years old, nearly 10.
I travel for business occasionally and during one particularly bad weather trip I found myself spending 1/2 the night in the Las Vegas airport, and the other 1/2 of the night in Atlanta. I had a blackberry, and I was checking my personal email. Again the picture of the girl we thought was named "Sheila" was there in the newletter update. I prayed all the way from Las Vegas to Atlanta, and once landed in Atlanta I sent an email to the faciliator. The information on Sheila said that she had a living mother, who was unable to care for her and that she had been relinqished to the children's home. In my email, I asked Pam if Sheila wanted to be adopted, since she had a living mother. I had heard nightmares about attachment disorder and this seemed like a good question to ask. I immediately got a reply email (even though it was 5:00 am) which said, "let me call Liberia and see what I can find out for you".
Wow! So I emailed back, "okay". Ten minutes later my cell phone rang. It was Pam. She explained that she had called the Children's Home Director and explained that she had someone interested in Sheila. The Director told her that "Sheila" was standing right there in the office with her. Pam told her we were concerned if Sheila wanted to be adopted. Pam said when the Director asked Sheila that question directly that she could hear Sheila say "Yes, I want an American Ma and Pa".
That whole experience and the timing of the emails and phone calls was evidence to me of the Lord's hand in the process. It was the first of many times when the Lord's hand was evident in the process, but, Sheila was our first commitment.... and things were just beginning.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Chapter 1 An Oprah TV Special
An Oprah TV special did have a lot with our decision to adopt. The special involved Oprah Winfrey bringing Christmas to children in South Africa. She took special care to follow several of the girls to their homes and tell the story of the life they were leading, or struggling to live, with parents dying of complications of the HIV disease, and our hearts were touched. Our hearts were touched, but, at the time, we did nothing.
Months later, I was traveling home from a business trip to France, and read a People magazine. The magazine focused on the plight of the orphans and gave two organizations as references if anyone was interested in adopting from Africa.
Americans for African Adoptions, and Adoption Advocates International, . We were interested and our hearts were touched, but, at the time, we did nothing.
Then, of course, there was this photo from Sudan,
Our hearts were touched, and we knew we had to do something. But, we also knew that adoption was expensive and we had no money. Looking to the Lord to provide the way was not something that was a real possibility to us at that point.
Eventually, the knowledge that if the situation were reversed, and we were the ones needing someone who had more, to reach out and help us, that we would really want someone to do it, we would really want someone to sacrifice and figure out how to help us. We knew there were children that were praying for a family. We knew we had to do something.
We began with finding out more about adoption from Liberia.
Quite honestly, because we were looking to Africa, and because Liberians speak English and learning a language didn't sound like a good idea on top of everything else, so without any more thought than that we began to learn about children in Liberia. Which is kind of putting the cart before the horse. At the time, we knew nothing about home studies, we knew nothing about I600-A approvals, we knew nothing about the process at all. But, we were learning about children in Liberia. As it turned out, we identied children before the process was underway, which isn't the way to do it. But, it worked out, and we have 5 children from Liberia. 5 successful adoptions out of 6 attempts....
Months later, I was traveling home from a business trip to France, and read a People magazine. The magazine focused on the plight of the orphans and gave two organizations as references if anyone was interested in adopting from Africa.
Americans for African Adoptions, and Adoption Advocates International, . We were interested and our hearts were touched, but, at the time, we did nothing.
Then, of course, there was this photo from Sudan,
Our hearts were touched, and we knew we had to do something. But, we also knew that adoption was expensive and we had no money. Looking to the Lord to provide the way was not something that was a real possibility to us at that point.
Eventually, the knowledge that if the situation were reversed, and we were the ones needing someone who had more, to reach out and help us, that we would really want someone to do it, we would really want someone to sacrifice and figure out how to help us. We knew there were children that were praying for a family. We knew we had to do something.
We began with finding out more about adoption from Liberia.
Quite honestly, because we were looking to Africa, and because Liberians speak English and learning a language didn't sound like a good idea on top of everything else, so without any more thought than that we began to learn about children in Liberia. Which is kind of putting the cart before the horse. At the time, we knew nothing about home studies, we knew nothing about I600-A approvals, we knew nothing about the process at all. But, we were learning about children in Liberia. As it turned out, we identied children before the process was underway, which isn't the way to do it. But, it worked out, and we have 5 children from Liberia. 5 successful adoptions out of 6 attempts....
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